A live reading of the Iliad, but every time I recount a death, my buddy in the back plays “MMMM Watcha say” over the speakers

problems with millennials

thoodleoo:

they’re all following this jesus nonsense instead of the old roman religion

they only know what it’s like under the empire and not the glory of the res publica

all of them want to follow weird greek fashions like writing poetry and growing beards instead of following the mos maiorum and wearing togas

they’re all so used to this cushy “pax romana” nonsense that none of them want to conquer anything like their ancestors did, and they probably don’t even remember carthage

they have no idea what it was like living before the common era

have any of them ever risen up on their own to depose a king or stab a tyrant? i think not

iamfuckingweeping:

non-binary-sally-bowles:

You’ve been hit by 🔪

You’ve been struck by 🔪

A Roman Senator 🔪🔪🔪

CAESER ARE YOU OKAY

ARE YOU OKAY CEASER

catullan:

latin lit discourse:

bottoms:

catullus

tibullus

pliny the younger

vers:

maecenas

propertius

sulpicia

ovid

petronius

martial

tops:

clodia

horace

apuleius

thatmasquedgirl:

wearepjocrazy:

finalrydierheir:

wearepjocrazy:

English: I before E except for after C

Me: then explain Poseidon

He is the Sea.

Listen here you little smooth son of a biscuit

I would just like to thank the English language for coming together to make this joke possible.

themoistplinth:

hellenicpoliticiansuggestions:

romansuggestions:

is he…you know [makes motion of sucking a dick] greek?

is he … you know [makes motion of bribing and murdering people for power in an oligarchic and timocratic war state] roman?

things heating up in the classical civilisation fandom

archaeos:

I spent two years at a top university, was taught by some of the finest modern archaeologists, and THIS is my what I learned.

spaffy-jimble:

langernameohnebedeutung:

liesmyth:

sathinfection:

liesmyth:

sathinfection:

contemporary roman writers slutshamed julius caesar that’s your ides of march fact for today

what an absolute unit ol’ iulius was

how could you write this and not say WHY he was getting slutshamed

julius ‘husband to all wives and wife to all husbands’ caesar was a thirsty, thirsty bottom

suetonius: i heard that caesar was a big slut and also he liked buttsex and oral

cicero, to the gathered senate: CAESAR TAKES IT UP THE ASS

for historical context, cicero publicly called out jc for bottoming for king nicomedes of bithynia. they first met when caesar was 20, the king was at least twice his age. ~~i am not saying sugar daddy but sugar daddy.~~ the sex was so good that when nicomedes died he left his entire kingdom to rome, i am not making this up this is t r u e

listen it’s one thing to slut shame Caesar, but Cicero went around speculating in public about Caesar and the king doing it on a “golden couch arrayed in purple” where “the virginity of the one sprung from Venus was lost in Bithynia” so I don’t think good old Iulius is the only one who’s got to ask himself some serious questions here.

Julius Caesar was stabbed for being a bottom, please share for bottom’s rights

hannahhunt:

yike, the greek goddess of passive distress and mild horror

gay classicist culture

thoodleoo:

dreaming of living in an ideal bucolic landscape as a gay shepherd

alternatively, dreaming of living on the island of lesbos, if only so you can make jokes about it

preferring the iliad to the odyssey

writing articles that get snarky about homophobic classicists who try to claim that people like alexander the great and hadrian weren’t gay af

getting your phd specifically so that you can call out homophobic classicists

majoring in hellenic studies

owning a replica bust of antinous

secretly imagining yourself as a character in the secret history

specializing in one of the following authors: homer, sappho, plato, lucian, catullus, vergil, tibullus, or petronius

claiming to study mythology but really you only care about the gay parts